Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
