thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
