I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
