Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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