Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
