you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Congratulations! We have a period
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