Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
