the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
