apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
