At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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