Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
