If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
