Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My penis needs a shock collar
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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