Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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