Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
