When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
