OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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