I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
