is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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