I love black thongs
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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