It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
