she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
