sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
