I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
