just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
