He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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