i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
