I'm eating all of the evidence.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
