dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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