Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Everclear isn't food dammit
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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