called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
