I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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