You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
