I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
