you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
