No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm just crazy horny about you
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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