i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
