Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
