I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
