The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oh god it's open bar.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
