Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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