and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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