All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
