covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
im drinking this country out of the recession.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
