when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
