google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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