You're completely useless in the revolution.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
How's work?
Spinning.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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