guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
