I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
