I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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