So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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