He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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